Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability, shame, empathy, and wholeheartedness gave me words to describe what I’ve always felt but could never fully articulate. This idea of owning your story is central to my coaching work is what came from her influence.
I’ve spent so much energy and time trying to live out a story that wasn’t mine. There’s a field of broken relationships, broken hearts, broken identities to prove it.
But the weird truth is on the other side of what is most shameful, what we fear will be our rejection is actually our dignity and worth. Shame isn’t meant to be avoided. It’s meant to be acknowledged and accepted.
”Nothing I accept about myself can be used against me to diminish me.”
This quote by Audre Lorde caught my breath because the person who was using my shame against me, was myself. But once I accepted it I was able to own it. And once you own it, we write the rest of the story,
It’s when our most generous work starts. We stop obsessing over ourselves, stop looking for reassurance, and start thinking about others.
Rather than thinking less about ourselves, we think about ourselves less, as CS Lewis once said. We get out of our own way and start serving others.